Yeh Dostana...

Almost a week after its release, reactions have been in the extreme - there are those who absolutely loved Dostana ( a friend went with 30 screaming Parsi queens who whistled and hooted every time John Abraham walked on to the screen); and others who without doubt hated it (a friend of a friend walked out in the interval).

The last few years have seen many movies that have attempted to do a Brokeback - Onir's its-gay-but-don't-announce-it My Brother Nikhil, to the sensitive Honeymoon Travels Ltd among others (Kal Ho Na Ho, Page 3, Fashion, Rules: Pyar Ka Superhit Formula).

KJo's Dostana without doubt is the one which has finally managed to force open Bollywood's closet, with a song and dance thrown in. Ok, so two of Bollywood's top stars ``pretend'' to be gay to rent an apartment, woo a hot babe and snag a residency permit (more about that later). But, it is definitely the first movie that surely deserves a place in the Limca Book of Records (the desi version of the Guinness) as a trailblazer - for the record number of times the word ``gay'' is mentioned in a single item song (Ma da ladla...).

Abhishek's effeminate ``Venice fantasy'' offended a few, but come on who hasn't seen a prancing queen in love. Boman Irani attempts a Meryl Streep a la The Devil Wears Prada and is a disaster. In fact, all the gay guys in the movie - Irani, the visa clerk, the guy with the boyfriend in Iraq - are caricatures. If the filmmakers could have fun at the expense of the community, they could have had portrayed a loving gay couple to balance the scales.

And, the residency permit for gay couples requires a suspension of disbelief. As P said, ``Who the hell are they trying to kid?'' about the whole premise of Abhishek and John putting their residency permit applications on fast track by queuing up in the line for same sex couples. They may be in gay-friendly Miami, but they are still in the puritan US of America. A simple google search would have told them that Florida is among the 30 states which bans same sex marriages. Leave alone special consideration to same sex immigrants, it doesn't even recognise same sex partners of its own citizens.

As for the gay friendly list- here goes: John's ass, John's ass crack, John's six pack, the item songs (Desi girl, Ma da ladla, Shut up and Bounce), the John-Abhishek ``kiss'', and for the number of times the word gay is used in the movie.
For good measure, Dostana also attempts a queer reading of Bollywood: Turning conventional queer theory on the Jay-Viru ``dosti'' on its head, Abhishek points to the gay undertones in Gabbar's character (Man with a belt shouting `Kitne Aadmi the'') . Not stopping at that, he pokes pink holes at the ultra macho bhai-brotherhood of Munna and Circuit.
The defining moment in the movie was, however, Priyanka's conversation with the OTT Kirron Kher about accepting her son's sexual orientation (``accept what you cannot change''). Kher's turn as the hysterical-slap happy-smirk at the word gay-mom to the Indian version of Debbie Novotny (Queer as Folk), made Dostana a ``gay'' movie. She doesn't just accept her gay son, but goes the whole filmy hog to become the perfect gay saas - welcoming her son's ``boyfriend'' into the family with aarti, bowl of rice and even handing over the khandaani ``kangan''.

So Brokeback can wait, Bollywood has Dostana!