Yeh Dostana...

Almost a week after its release, reactions have been in the extreme - there are those who absolutely loved Dostana ( a friend went with 30 screaming Parsi queens who whistled and hooted every time John Abraham walked on to the screen); and others who without doubt hated it (a friend of a friend walked out in the interval).

The last few years have seen many movies that have attempted to do a Brokeback - Onir's its-gay-but-don't-announce-it My Brother Nikhil, to the sensitive Honeymoon Travels Ltd among others (Kal Ho Na Ho, Page 3, Fashion, Rules: Pyar Ka Superhit Formula).

KJo's Dostana without doubt is the one which has finally managed to force open Bollywood's closet, with a song and dance thrown in. Ok, so two of Bollywood's top stars ``pretend'' to be gay to rent an apartment, woo a hot babe and snag a residency permit (more about that later). But, it is definitely the first movie that surely deserves a place in the Limca Book of Records (the desi version of the Guinness) as a trailblazer - for the record number of times the word ``gay'' is mentioned in a single item song (Ma da ladla...).

Abhishek's effeminate ``Venice fantasy'' offended a few, but come on who hasn't seen a prancing queen in love. Boman Irani attempts a Meryl Streep a la The Devil Wears Prada and is a disaster. In fact, all the gay guys in the movie - Irani, the visa clerk, the guy with the boyfriend in Iraq - are caricatures. If the filmmakers could have fun at the expense of the community, they could have had portrayed a loving gay couple to balance the scales.

And, the residency permit for gay couples requires a suspension of disbelief. As P said, ``Who the hell are they trying to kid?'' about the whole premise of Abhishek and John putting their residency permit applications on fast track by queuing up in the line for same sex couples. They may be in gay-friendly Miami, but they are still in the puritan US of America. A simple google search would have told them that Florida is among the 30 states which bans same sex marriages. Leave alone special consideration to same sex immigrants, it doesn't even recognise same sex partners of its own citizens.

As for the gay friendly list- here goes: John's ass, John's ass crack, John's six pack, the item songs (Desi girl, Ma da ladla, Shut up and Bounce), the John-Abhishek ``kiss'', and for the number of times the word gay is used in the movie.
For good measure, Dostana also attempts a queer reading of Bollywood: Turning conventional queer theory on the Jay-Viru ``dosti'' on its head, Abhishek points to the gay undertones in Gabbar's character (Man with a belt shouting `Kitne Aadmi the'') . Not stopping at that, he pokes pink holes at the ultra macho bhai-brotherhood of Munna and Circuit.
The defining moment in the movie was, however, Priyanka's conversation with the OTT Kirron Kher about accepting her son's sexual orientation (``accept what you cannot change''). Kher's turn as the hysterical-slap happy-smirk at the word gay-mom to the Indian version of Debbie Novotny (Queer as Folk), made Dostana a ``gay'' movie. She doesn't just accept her gay son, but goes the whole filmy hog to become the perfect gay saas - welcoming her son's ``boyfriend'' into the family with aarti, bowl of rice and even handing over the khandaani ``kangan''.

So Brokeback can wait, Bollywood has Dostana!

To B

``B died a month ago,'' he said, shattering the stillness of the smoky haze of the lit cigarettes and the Bollywood track wafting in between. We were on the terrace of Bollywood Mischief - a breather before we returned to the sauna-like conditions on the two-level dance floors below.
``How?.. I had bumped into him just recently,'' I asked.
``It was AIDS... he was one of RW kinds!''
The last time I met B was outside the lift lobby - me walking in and he heading home. ``He had looked healthy,'' I said, unable to think of anything else to say.
The details followed - a bout of pneumonia, which turned fatal because of a weakened immune syetem brought on by a refusal to go on the cocktail.
RW was the first time I heard about the AIDS-deniers - a scattered and unconnected group of individuals who believe that HIV is not the cause of AIDS. They refuse medication that could probably give them a new lease of life - both substantial and productive, in the belief that the whole HIV theory was one designed to benefit Western capitalists and pharma interest groups.
India too has its followers, the most prominent being the one calling itself the Joint Action Council Kannur (JACK), which is opposing the decriminalisation of homosexuality before the Delhi High Court. They say they don't have anything against homosexuals, but ``oppose legalising homosexuality on medical grounds- that there has never been any link established between homosexuality and AIDS''
``JACK claims that the CIA report had chosen countries like Nigeria, India, Ethiopia, Russia, China and India which were strategically important for US interests, with a view to exploit market and human resources of these ''HIV afflicted'' developing nations in a coldblooded manner for its own benefit.'' (from a news report).
All I could feel was a mix of sadness and anger. B and I were never buddies of the backslapping kind. A friend had introduced us when he joined the organisation. Our meetings were always brief and in the lobby where he would be catching up on nicotine. We would exchange some gossip, bitch a little, before saying we would meet up at the party or film festival.
It must have been B's choice, but could not forgive him for the path he had chosen.