Escort me

`Yahoo Entertainment' the ad proclaimed in the classified section of a tabloid. The photograph accompanying the ad was of a white female striking a pose (may be the whites should sue us for racism and our portrayals of all white women as loose). The escort ad assured ``Hi-Fi, elite class, broad minded, educated, English speaking, modernised, smart, young models'' - translation... girls in jeans who would fulfill all you sexual fantasies and more and may be utter sweet nothings in English.

The names of the escort agencies were indicative of the services - Blue Divine, X Dream, Royal, Gold Girls, Mumbai Queen... There was even a very 80ish Sweety Friendship Club - does the fact that it offered ``high society, Gujarati, Marwadi, Punjabi, anywhere good entertainment', have anything to do with the traditional name.

The ads for `hot fun, masti' were all one possibly needed to understand the sexual fantasies of the average heterosexual Indian male. While for a wife, he (more likely his parents), would advertise for a `fair, educated, homely' girl, when it came to escorts it was 'high society' Indian, European, Russian girls. Come to think of it when did you guys last see an ad for a `hi-fi' wife.

Let it snow!

Four days before Christmas, stepped into the Planet M shop below my office. Had decided not to swipe plastic, come what may. The ipod had meant, most of my music was now downloaded from the net, and couldn't remember the last time that I had used my music CD player.

Frank Sinatra was singing `Let it snow, let it snow...' and what with the season of cheer and everything, bought two CDs of Christmas classics.

So here are my questions:

*Why is it that the week before Christmas, you suddenly feel like hearing, `Hark! The Herald Angels Sing'

*Why is it that in Mumbai's warm Christmas, you feel you need to cuddle up against some one besides a fire.

*Why does an artificial Chinese Christmas tree make you all gooey.

*Why do you suddenly feel like kissing some one below a mistletoe - though you have never actually seen a real one, if you ignore the plastic ones.

* Why for an Indian Malayalee Christian it doesn't feel like Christmas unless you listen to `The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire)'

*Or for that matter why on Boxing Day, 'Silent Night' never stirs the same emotions as that of the previous day.